Bullying is very much in the news and lately the word “bullying” has been used for a wide range of hurtful behaviors. But true bullying is more than just teasing or “picking on” someone else. While no parent wants to see their child targeted by any kind of cruel behavior, true bullying is defined as the use of threats, coercion or force to intimidate, abuse, or impose domination over someone. Humiliation is often the goal, and true bullying tends to be repetitive and habitual.

Photo by Lia Jay Photography

Survey results from the National Center for Education Statistics reveal that an alarming 28% of American students in 6th– 12^th Grade said they have experienced bullying.  Most discussions about bullying focus – correctly – on kids bullying other kids, but a recent article in Pediatrics, however, underscores that bullying can come a from trusted adult as well.

Startling results from 6,000 young adults surveyed about their adolescent sports experiences revealed that 75% cited at least one incident of emotional harm that occurred while involved in a sports program, and one third of them singled out their coach as the main source of those negative experiences.

I am obviously a strong advocate for sports for young kids and adolescents alike.  As a pediatrician – and a father – I’ve seen kids learn so many great life lessons while playing sports and while being supervised – and taught – by countless outstanding coaches and mentors.

But this article raises an important point: parents need to be attentive, and observe a team practice from time to time if they can. A “red flag” should always go up if a coach holds closed practices. The days of “bucking up and taking it” to add to the success of the team are over. We know too well the lasting scars that abuse can leave. Particularly if it fits the criteria for bullying: use of coercion to intimidate or impose domination, humiliation,  and repetition.

Talk to your kids; ask them what the coach is like, and how he or she treats the players. A good coach doesn’t have to rely on intimidation to improve play and develop character, both in and out of the game.

Awareness is one of the most important traits to develop into your own parenting personality. There are many phenomenal coaches who dedicate countless hours teaching our kids invaluable and lasting life lessons and we owe them our gratitude and our respect. But as a parent, it never hurts to drop in on a practice or two!