I remember my father vividly each and every Fathers Day, but then hardly any day passes that he doesn’t cross my mind. My Dad was only 69 when he died. Far too early if you ask me. I’ve never known a person with such a staunch blue collar work ethic. Nor seen a more steely gaze that could stop me dead in my tracks and make me re-evaluate my next step.

Photo: Harold M. Lambert/Getty Images

Dads of the 1950s often fit a particular mold. They were assigned two main duties: bringing home the bacon and disciplinarian. Oh, my mom doled out the minor punishments, but when a major infraction occurred, she waited for my father to be The Executioner.

But while back then each parent seemed to possess a more clearly defined role in the family, today the paradigm is different. It is no longer exclusively the role of the mother to be an apron-wearing domestic engineer. More and more men tie those same apron strings around their waists and role up their parenting sleeves. Roles overlap or mix & match in families now. With more single families, blended families and families with both parents in the work force, there are shared responsibilities of both producing income and raising the kids.

And that’s a good thing. The new, greater, involvement by fathers includes every aspect of a child’s life and provides so many unique moments to bond and share with their children.

Still, when researchers study attachment, most of the focus in on the nurturing maternal bond. But what about the Father Factor?  Researchers are having a more difficult time, or even ignoring, information about how a Dad integrates with children. When it has been studied, scientists have proposed that the paternal bond occurs later than the maternal one; when the father provides a firm base permitting the child to branch out and take risks. But whether or not we concur with that psychological premise, it’s important to ask, individually and about society in general, are most Dads involved enough yet?

As a pediatrician, I urge the fathers I see to be more than just the pretend pony their toddler rides off on to bed at night (although I highly recommend doing that too!) I suggest they start fully engaging early and often. Assist in toilet training. Drive some car pools. Volunteer in the school lunch room.  Oversee homework assignments. Go to the playground. Read books out loud. And continue that engagement throughout a lifetime. I suggest that they be the authority figure if that suits their parenting personality. But always BE THERE. And continue to expand that positive role in their child’s life.

We all have specific recollections of our fathers: mine is of my Dad’s role as bread winner and enforcer, an image that rapidly comes to mind even today. The image that your child will recall of you will center around the example you are setting now. Are you a patient, fair, positive leader or a disengaged unapproachable figurehead?  Are you fully engaged or do you just put in the effort when convenient or when the ball game’s over? Do you make mistakes but make it clear that you are trying your best?

While expectations were more limited when I was growing up, today’s Dads have a tremendous opportunity to become an integral part of their children’s lives. And this leads to personal growth for the Dads as well as their children. Lead by example and create a positive image for your child that lasts a lifetime. As your children are celebrating you this Fathers Day, take a moment yourself to celebrate the joy, passion, challenge and opportunity of being a Dad everyday… and not just on a single Sunday in June.