While it’s a step in the right direction that the Minnesota Vikings have reversed their decision and barred Adrian Peterson from team activities while his child-abuse case is pending, the fact that he is still receiving a full salary is still a disturbing sign that the NFL doesn’t take child abuse seriously.

What I find particularly troubling about the Peterson case – beyond the violence with which he treated a 4-year old – is the outpouring of support in public forums for corporal punishment.

Is hitting or spanking a child EVER an acceptable and effective way to discipline our children?

Corporal punishment is – plain and simple – a crutch for lack of parenting skills. As a pediatrician – whose role it is to advocate for children’s heath and well-being – I believe it has no place in child rearing… ever (and the American Academy of Pediatrics agrees.)

Many adults are arguing that they were spanked as a child, and “still turned out all right.”  Whether or not their parents hit them (and let’s not sugar coat spanking – it is still hitting) it is still no excuse for striking a child.

When you strike a child, you are teaching them that you endorse violence as a means of problem solving.  Countless studies have proven that hitting children not only doesn’t work as a disciplinary tool, but that it demonstrably contributes to aggressive behavior on the part of the child. Parents need to lead by example, and is striking someone who doesn’t do what you want the example you want to set for your child?

So why do parents still do it? Lack of education and lazy parenting.  It is far easier and faster to tell a child to do something because “I said so” or to threaten with a whipping than it is to communicate and teach.

Just like in any relationship, a good parent-child relationship is the result of work and communication, especially when it applies to discipline. Kids need to know and understand the rules, limits, and expectations you have. A child thrives on structure, especially when young so consistency is required for both establishing the guidelines and consequences. Discipline is complex, especially in some children who are more reactive with their personalities. But the fact that a relationship is challenging does not give us the right to hit someone.

Hitting a child is never an acceptable consequence. It shows zero respect and is demeaning. And even allowing yourself one “swat” opens the door to more, and to losing control and ending up in an abusive rage like Adrian Peterson.

How long are we going to permit hitting a child to be culturally acceptable? In my 40 years of pediatrics, I have often heard parents quote the old platitude, “Spare the rod; spoil the child” as their rationale for corporal punishment.  My response has always been “Spare the rod; save the child”. Far stronger parent/child bonds would be developed if parents built their relationships with their children on trust and communication rather than fear, by putting love, respect and positivity at the root of parenting decisions. Children need advocates in the world, and that advocacy should begin with the parent.

Clearly Peterson has issues- this was way beyond the kind of spanking many parents have administered – this was a violent and horrific loss of control against a tiny child. So kudos to the Minnesota Vikings for at least putting their star running back on the “exempt list”. (I’d prefer full suspension myself). And kudos to Radisson Hotels and Anheuser-Busch, important sponsors of the Vikings and the NFL respectively, Nike, and the governor of Minnesota for speaking out against the Viking’s initial decision to allow him to continue playing.

While Mr. Peterson does indeed have his right to his day in court, his child has a right to be protected and respected. As do all children.